I wish my penis had an off switch
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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