Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
