haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
