remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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