my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
