I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
