Banned from zoo.
Again?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
