It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
