You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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