dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
