i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
