Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
