i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
