try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
