I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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