I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
