Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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