Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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