I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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