put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
