Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
