i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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