So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
