Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
