i just had sex bonerless
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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