your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
