I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
