Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
