bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
