I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
