So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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