I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It was like getting head from an anaconda
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
