So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
