they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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