So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
