I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
