I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
