i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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