It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
