i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
