Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
