so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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