Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm passing your future prison.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
