I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You smell like stripper and shame
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
