It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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