We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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