redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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