there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
