peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize