Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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(858): View more from California

Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.

(858): View more from California

i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents

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(910): View more from North Carolina

that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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(301): View more from Maryland

i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

(240): View more from Maryland

hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking

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(210): View more from Texas

I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.

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(330): View more from Ohio

Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?

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(706): View more from Georgia

I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.

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