eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
