I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
