My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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