im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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