How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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