she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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