that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
