4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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