I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
