he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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