ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
