How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
