I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i think im in europe. pls send help
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
