Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
