at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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