So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
